By Shannon Devy
South Africa is tired of being kept in the dark, and we’re not talking about loadshedding! This week, we’re looking at 5 South African Mysteries which we consider matters of NATIONAL IMPORTANCE.
1. Riaan Cruywagen and the Fountain of Youth
Riaan has looked the same since the 80’s, and we need answers. Has he found the secret to eternal youth? If so, why hasn’t he shared it? What the hell is going on here?
2. The Tobacco Ban
Remember that one time the government decided to ban tobacco products? Whose idea was that? The only explanation we were given at the time was “when people zol they put saliva on the paper” but we demand answers
3. The Talking Tapeworm is Still Free
After Dmitri Tsafendas assassinated Hendrik Verwoerd slap bang in the middle of a sitting of the House of Assembly at Parliament in 1966, he swore blind a talking tapeworm made him to do it. Why was the tapeworm never arrested? We need answers!
4. The Unfinished Highways
If you’ve ever visited Cape Town you may notice two massive roads to nowhere, right in the middle of town. The Foreshore Freeway Bridge, as its officially called, has stood unfinished since the 70’s due to some bad budget management. Will they ever be finished? We want answers!
5. The Cancellation of Spur Two for One Burger Mondays
In 2017, South Africans across the land stood together in devastation when Spur became people with a taste for ruining Monday nights and quietly cancelled the NATIONAL INSTITUTION that is Burger Mondays. Who thought this was a good idea? How could we let this happen? When will it come back? Will we ever recover? We want answers!