Sometimes you just have a bad day that stinks. Nothing goes your way. Traffic was atrocious, your favourite rerun was taken off Netflix, and - to top it all off - somebody wronged you.
If this is the case, then we have a recipe for you! No, it's not for revenge. That's a dish we'll never serve on this website. But, if you're looking for a warm and nourishing meal to put together after a bad day, this might be the fix for you.
The key ingredients are roasted broccoli (delicious and cruciferous) and a hardboiled egg. Without getting too explicit about it, this sulphurous combination is bound to produce some...smells. If you're feeling extra peevish, I guess you could serve this to the person who has wronged you and relish in a brief feeling of victorious pettiness.
But we're advocates of making it for ourselves, really. Because this meal is nutritious, cost-effective, and easy to make. It's also delicious! The perfect combination to put rights to what has possibly been A Very Bad Day.
What you'll need from the shops:
Broccolini or Tenderstem broccoli
A cake of egg noodles
Sesame seed oil
How to make it:
One of the best things about this dish is that you probably already have most of the ingredients chilling out in your pantry. You might just have to pop to the Woolies for some Tenderstem broccoli! You can always make this recipe with regular broccoli, but I find that the best results are yielded with broccolini.
I also always have an enormous stock of broccolini stinking up my fridge because it is the beloved snack of my very spoiled parrot, Robot. It's because of this constant excess that I invented this recipe in the first place!
Step One: Prep your kak
You know the drill by now! Put a pot of water on the boil for your noodles and your egg (you can use the same pot for both). Preheat your oven to 200 degrees Celcius. Prepare a bowl of ice water (we'll get to why in a second). Make yourself a cup of tea and put on a Bad Day playlist. Might I suggest the blues?
Step Two: Massage your broccolini
First, coat your broccolini in a glug of olive oil. Rub it all over. Really give it the old Swedish massage. I've prepared a side-by-side transformation as a learning aid:
Look at that verdant vibrancy! So glossy! So chic! When those are done, pop them in the oven. They only need 15-20 minutes.
Step Three: Send noods (you heard me)
That's right. Send your noods into a pot of boiling water and cook according to packet instructions. You can do your egg before, after, or at the same time as your noodles. This juncture brings me to my next segment (drumroll please)...
...how to boil an egg
Imaginary fans of my imaginary cooking show ask me all the time, "Mia, how long do I boil an egg for?" And to these adoring figments of my imagination, I respond, "Well, you see, that depends entirely on what consistency you're seeking in the yolk."
If you're like me and you enjoy what is known as a "jammy" centre in your hardboiled egg, then plop your room-temperature egg into boiling water and leave it there for six minutes. Set a timer! If you want something firmer, then go for eight minutes. I wouldn't boil an egg for longer than nine minutes myself, but you do you.
When your timer goes off, gently place the boiled egg into your prepared bowl of ice water. This arrests the cooking process immediately and prevents the yolk from becoming firmer after you've removed it from hot water. It also makes peeling the shell off quite a bit easier.
Step Four: Ingredients, assemble!
By now you should have some freshly cooked noodles, an expertly boiled egg, and some gorgeous roasted broccolini. The broccolini should only take 15-20 minutes. You'll know it's done when it's the edges are brown and crispy.
To start the assembly, put your noodles in a bowl with a splash of soy sauce and a good few shakes of sesame seed oil. Then, halve your egg and gently nestle it in your coated noodles. Finally, put your roasted broccolini in its rightful place. Garnish with flaky salt and sesame seeds, if you have any spare.
And that, as they say in show business, is that! This is a really simple meal that is as delicious as it is healthy. If this doesn't cure your bad day, then I certainly know what will! Might I interest you in a recipe for a super-comforting Bacon and Tomato Pasta? No? Perhaps a nostalgic classic like Fancy French Toast instead? We've got food for every mood!
Everybody has bad days. This too shall pass, friends.
Mia and Robot